Heart Matters !!

“You can only be hurt by people you love. People you don’t love can never hurt you!”, such a correct saying.

Something of such sort happened with her and on none other than the most special day of the year for her, her birthday. Birthday is the most special day of everyone’s life. One deserves to be happy and feel loved on that day. And this year was a little more special for her as she was planning to celebrate it with the love of her life. Little did she know, that this birthday will leave such a scar on her heart that she would hate this day for many more years to come.

One day before her big day, she was all excited and happily waiting as she knew he would come to meet her and wish her at 12 o’clock. Just to have a sneak peek into his plans, she called him to inquire where he was. He, as usual, replied that he was very tired and told her how it was a long day at the office. She couldn’t resist herself by asking if he would be coming that night to meet her to which he lazily replied that he was too exhausted to travel to another city in the night. This announcement broke her heart as after they started dating, it was her first birthday and she was really excited about it. She lost interest in the talk and told him that she will talk to him tomorrow. To this, he asked why she was behaving so weirdly and she should understand him and not get angry about it.

One argument led to another and they got into a really bad fight. After which she said angrily, “I want a breakup. I can’t be with you”. She was really angry but she did not mean all this. She wanted him to shut her up. To tell her to stop all this nonsense. And that he loved her and they should sort this out. But nothing like that happened. Rather he said, “Just think about it again. It’s your birthday. I don’t want to do it today”. This statement of him shook her up. She never in her wildest dreams thought that he would say something like this. Angrily she said, ”If you want it that bad, we will do it right now!!”

To this, he said, ”Fine, but it is your wish, not mine.”.With only a small statement, he let her loose, all alone, leaving her clueless about what exactly happened in their relationship. He even told her how he was planning to surprise her and he already bought a beautiful bouquet, a bottle of Champagne and her favorite Chocolate Truffle cake for her.

She was still pissed off but to save their relationship, she curbed her anger and asked him to come to meet her to sit and talk that shit out, to what he bluntly denied. She was shattered, couldn't understand what to do, whom to call. She really loved him and could not let him go. She started crying badly. Just a few minutes before her birthday, she had the worst breakup of her life, over the phone, with the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

This was a devastating night for her. She was in no mood of any celebration or enjoyment. The cherry on the cake, at exactly 12 pm, she gets a video message from his number and she started crying again after watching it. This was his friends, cutting and enjoying the beautiful and yummy chocolate cake and savoring the delicious champagne by wishing her “Happy Birthday”. But he neither showed his face nor did he wish her. She kept calling him just to talk to him but he simply did not pick up the call. Maybe he hated her so much that he could not stand her voice or he never loved her so much that he couldn’t let her cry. In both the cases, she thought she was a loser. She had weird thoughts in her mind. She thought maybe it was her mistake. Maybe it was something she did in the past which triggered all this. Maybe he was thinking of doing it for so many days but could not. So many maybes but no answer.

But she is a stubborn heart, wanted answers to all her “Maybes”. She wanted him to tell him exactly what happened. So the very next day, on her birthday morning, she called him. This time he finally picked up and wished her “Happy Birthday” just like any other friend. Although this broke her heart again, still composing herself she asked once again if they could meet. To her surprise, he made an excuse, a fucking lame excuse that he had some plans with his friends as it was a Sunday.

This was the lamest thing she ever heard. It seemed, at that time, every silly thing was more important to him than her. This was another hard attack on her feelings, which she could not bear.

Reality struck her real bad, at the place where it hurts the most !!

She felt stupid, irritated, angry, anxious, all at the same time, not because of him, but because of herself. How could she give so much importance to a guy so that he could throw her heart on the ground and crush that brutally under his feet? This was so not her. She was always a self-dependent, controlled, ambitious person who could not let strings of her life go to somebody else’s hands. She was not the one who could be affected that badly by somebody else’s actions. But there she was, standing all vulnerable, clueless, depressed as if life was taken away from her as if someone took away her breathes and there was no oxygen left.

She was shattered but strong enough to hide her feelings. She was vulnerable but never showed it to anybody. She created a wall against herself which nobody would ever be able to break. She was in severe pain but hid it all by her smile. This pain improved her as a person, taught her to control her emotions and put her back on her life track. She was now raging and unstoppable. She became demotional. Leaving all the thoughts behind, she stared at her life ahead, started smiling for people who cared for her, loving the people who loved her back. And promised herself to not compromise her self-respect for anybody in the whole fucking world!

This heartbreak made her a better, stronger person inside out. She lost her forever love but found herself in the process.